Your Mind Is A Garden That Only You Can Tend To

Perhaps you have heard this reference and it is a powerful image. There is no greater metaphor for the mind and our thoughts.

There is a quote by William Wordsworth that comes to mind

“Your mind is the garden, 

your thoughts are the seeds,

the harvest can either be flowers or weeds.”

Think of the subconscious mind as the soil in which you plant your garden. It offers a foundation for seeds to grow and take root, providing the plants with nutrients and water. It gives them a place to thrive. However, it also offers a wonderful place for weeds to flourish and multiply. The soil doesn’t discriminate; its purpose is to create and support plant life of all kinds—beautiful and ugly, bitter and sweet.

the conscious mind—is your everyday mind. It’s made up of the thoughts you have about the things you hear and see and ultimately do. In our garden analogy, your conscious mind would be like the seeds that you plant in your garden. Every thought you think is a seed.
A conscious thought which reappears often will eventually make its way into your subconscious mind, where it will grow into a permanent belief. When we plant a seed in our garden, it always grows into what the seed was meant to be. If you plant roses, you will reap roses. If you plant pansies, you will reap pansies.
And just like the seeds you plant in a garden, the thoughts you think also grow into what they are meant to be. If, for example, your thoughts are predominantly about scarcity, you will build permanent beliefs of scarcity into your mind at its deepest level. Do you think that might affect your life? You bet! Your outer reality will reflect your inner thoughts and beliefs with great precision.
Gardeners know that if they do not plant seeds of their choosing, their garden will grow seeds that blow in on the wind, such as dandelions and other weeds. In other words, the garden will grow into a wild, unrestrained, weed-filled mess. In the same way, when you allow your mind to think whatever thoughts blow into your mind, without checking and scrutinizing those thoughts, your mind will become a wild mess, and so will your outer world.

The mind naturally leans toward negative thoughts, and without your intervention, it will lead you to negativity.
So many people don’t make conscious choices when it comes to their thoughts. They allow their thoughts to run rampant, unchecked, and uncontrolled.

“An unattended mind can create havoc for you because your mind is amazingly receptive to whatever suggestions may be dropped into it. It has been said that the subconscious mind cannot take a joke. This simply means that whatever belief is introduced to it, it takes seriously as an instruction to grow that thought-seed into a full-blown plant–be it a rose or a weed, and it doesn’t care. Just like soil in a garden, it says, “yes” to all seeds planted, positive or otherwise. When you stop and consider how many thought-seeds are blown, dropped or purposefully planted in your mind on a daily basis, it may cause you to tend to your mental garden with a bit more regularity. In addition to all the seeds that were planted in your mind before you knew you even had one, as you listen to the radio, watch TV or even sit in a restaurant where others are talking, your mind hears it ALL, irrespective of whether you are conscious of it or not. Given what’s going on in our world today with all of the talk that comes from fear and anger, this is a vital point to grasp.” – Dennis Merritt Jones, D.D.

So, how can we cultivate our own garden?

We must be mindful. Be skillful in the seeds that you plant and in how you nurture them. Fleeting thoughts are like seeds blown in from a breeze.  They do not get planted, watered and nourished unless we chose to do so. When you repeat thoughts, you reinforce and reaffirm them and in turn, they grow stronger and deeper roots. They take up more space in your garden. But when you step back to observe and analyze your thoughts as they come, you can decide which you find beautiful and which you find destructive and you can choose to remove those that don’t serve you. You can encourage the growth of those you’d like to see more of.

It is your responsibility to seed and fertilize your inner garden with the plants you want, or it will seed itself with weeds. Remember, the subconscious mind does not discriminate between thoughts. It grows the seed that is planted, the thoughts you think and feed—irrespective of whether those seeds are helpful or harmful.
there is a significant penalty for neglecting your inner garden: a life not of your choosing.

“Your life is your garden; keep the weeds out because that is one way in which you can personally beautify our world. You owe that much to yourself and to those who receive the benefit of the seeds you drop along the way.” – Dennis Merritt Jones, D.D.

To start off, make a real effort to observe your thoughts and see exactly what it is that you’ve been planting in your mind garden. At first it will be quite difficult, but keep in mind that we are learning something new and any time you learn something new, practice is the only way. You don’t learn to speak a new language or play violin flawlessly overnight! It takes dedication and effort, but eventually it becomes second nature. You will begin to see the patterns in your thinking, recognizing the thoughts that repeatedly flash across your mind. These are the seeds that you are nourishing. Are they what you want them to be? Are they harming or helping you? As you become more and more aware of negative thoughts, you begin to consciously cultivate your garden, you choose to step in. Suddenly, you realize that you have more power than you ever imagined; You can say, “No. I will NOT plant this weed in my mind. I will consciously choose to plant something better.”

The results are truly spectacular and life-changing.

TO START YOU OFF:

MINDFULNESS PRACTICE FOR TODAY: Here is an exercise devised by Dennis Merritt Jones, D.D.

He says,

“Keep a journal for the next 24 hours. Make note of ALL the different thought-seeds that become obvious to you throughout the day. By this I mean repetitive or habitual thoughts, either positive of negative. Don’t judge what you find, simply write it down. At the end of the day, sit quietly and review your findings. If you discover thought-seeds that are growing beautiful experiences for you, see yourself planting even more of those seeds. If you notice any pattern of thinking from which “weeds” will grow or are currently growing, simply visualize yourself plucking the thought-weed from your mind and immediately plant a thought-seed that supports the idea of wholeness. You may have to do this any number of times, but it is your garden…and you are the only gardener who can tend to it.”

 

Lovingkindness Meditation, Practice Instructions: An Article from Psychology Today By: Toni Bernhard

This is a beautiful piece on using meditation to cultivate positive vibes toward the universe, teaching us to leave feelings of fear and judgement behind in favor of a life lived in a halo of love and healing.

Lovingkindness Practice | Psychology Today.

The most common Buddhist meditation practice is known asmindfulness meditation, often referred to as “following the breath.” I wrote about it in Mindfulness Meditation: Why to Do It and How to Do It. On

retreats, however, people are often taught other meditation techniques which they can use as alternatives when they get home. Two alternatives are the body scan (SeeUsing the Body Scan to Help With Chronic Pain and Illness) andmetta or lovingkindness meditation. Indeed, sometimes people go on “metta retreats” in which they do nothing but lovingkindness meditation!

Lovingkindness meditation came about because of the Buddha’s response to a group of monks who were scared. As the story goes, these monks had gone to a remote forest to engage in intensivemindfulness meditation. But when they got there, they started hearing strange noises, smelling terrible odors, and seeing scary spirits. They fled the forest and sought the Buddha’s help. The Buddha taught them lovingkindness meditation and told them to go back to the forest and cultivate lovingkindness for these scary spirits. The monks returned to the forest and began to practice lovingkindness meditation. Soon the spirits became as benevolent and friendly to the monks as the monks were being to the spirits. The monks stayed a long time in the forest, in harmony with the spirits.
Gaetano Donizetti wrote an opera called L’Elisir d’Amore—the elixir of love. I think of lovingkindness meditation as an elixir for my heart. It’s a medicine that heals any irritation, anger, or negative judgments I may be feeling for myself or others. It’s a medicine that softens my heart so that I’m not afraid to enfold myself and others in the warmth of benevolence, kindness, friendliness, and even love.

Here are the basic instructions for lovingkindness meditation. Traditionally, you settle on a set of phrases and then recite them silently, over and over. I recite my phrases every day during the first fifteen minutes of my afternoon nap. These are the phrases I settled on in the early 1990s:

May I be peaceful.

May I have ease of well-being.

May I reach the end of suffering…

And be free.

There’s no reason for you to pick these phrases. The cadence and meaning just work for me. “Ease of well-being” is a phrase I learned from “metta master” Sharon Salzberg. It has an old-fashioned feel to it that appeals to me. Pick phrases that have meaning for you. Ask, “What do I wish for myself and for others?” Here are some possible phrases (I’ll put them in the first person, even though you’ll be directing them toward others too):

May I be free from danger. May I be happy. May I be free from suffering. May my mind be healed. May I make friends with my body. May I dwell in peace. May I be at ease.

You may like this phrase that I heard while on a retreat. It was used by one of the teachers, Kamala Masters. She closed one of her talks by directing this lovingkindness phrase to all of us: “Whether sick or well, may your body be a vehicle for liberation.”

After trying out different phrases, settle on three or four that express most deeply your intention to cultivate kindness and well-wishes toward yourself and others (and, as you begin this practice, feel free to adjust any phrase that’s not working for you). Repeat your phrases in whatever way is comfortable for you, keeping in mind the intention they express. Some people coordinate the phases with their in- and out-breaths; this doesn’t feel natural to me so I don’t do it. Don’t be concerned if the sentiments expressed in your phrases don’t feel genuine at first. Repeat your phrases anyway. They will do their work and, after a time, the sentiments they express will come to feel genuine.

Traditionally, lovingkindness phrases are directed at five different groups of people. At first, I don’t recommend that you try to move through all five groups during one practice session. On a retreat, it’s common to spend several days on a person from one of the groups before moving on to the next group. Here are the five groups, in the order in which they’re usually taught.

Yourself 

First, repeat the phrases, directing them at yourself. Some people may feel that others are more worthy of their well-wishes. When asked about this, the Buddha said, “If you search the whole world over, you will find no one who is more worthy of metta than yourself.” Perhaps he said this partly because when we are loving and kind to ourselves, our hearts open and we can more easily be loving and kind to others.

Other people find it hard to be kind to themselves because, from years of conditioning, they’ve become their own harshest critics—which only serves to increase their suffering and sadness. If you’re plagued by negative judgments about yourself, remember that the Buddha said the mind is soft and pliant. This means that you can transform it from critic to ally. Think of that cliché, “This is the first day of the rest of your life,” and start with a blank slate in your mind. Begin to fill that slate with thoughts of kindness, benevolence, friendliness, and love for yourself. Repeat your phrases even if they don’t feel genuine at first. They will work their magic anyway, transforming your heart and mind.

A Benefactor 

After a time, begin to direct your phrases to someone for whom you feel deep gratitude. This person is traditionally called the benefactor. It might be an influential teacher in your life. It might be a grandparent. The idea here is to pick a person with whom you have no conflicts. Some people pick a beloved public figure, like the Dalai Lama. I always direct my phrases to the Vietnamese Buddhist monk, Thich Nhat Hanh. In a silent voice, I say his name and then recite my phrases.

A Beloved Friend or Family Member

Then, direct your phrases to a person you love unconditionally but with whom there might occasionally be conflict. This distinguishes the Benefactor from the Beloved Friend or Family Member. Silently say the person’s name or bring an image of his or her face to mind. I say my phrases first, to my husband, and then to my two children, then to their spouses, and then to my grandchildren—one repetition each. (It’s more traditional to pick just one person to direct your phrases to.)

A Neutral Person 

Next, direct your phrases to a person in your life for whom you don’t have strong feelings one way or another, like the mail carrier or the checker at the supermarket. If you stick with the same person each time you practice, over time you’re likely to find that this person becomes someone you really care about. It’s a beautiful side effect of practicing lovingkindness for a neutral person; your heart will fill with kindness and friendliness every time you see your “neutral” person!

The Difficult Person 

Finally, direct your phrases to a person whose name alone can give rise to aversion and anger in you. It’s best not to start with someone who might stir up a lot of painful emotions, so begin with a person who doesn’t pose a great difficulty for you. He or she could be a family member or friend with whom you have repeated conflicts, or even a public figure with whom you disagree.

To make it easier to practice with the difficult person, you might begin by reflecting on how this person, like you, wants to be happy and at peace. The Buddha encountered many people who wished to do him harm. He responded, not in anger, but with lovingkindness because he understood the suffering a person must be feeling in order to want to harm another.

Because I’ve been practicing lovingkindness for many years, I go straight for my edges here! I purposefully pick someone I feel disrespected by or with whom I vehemently disagree, like a politician or a political commentator. Wishing for a person who is a thorn in your side to be peaceful and to be free from suffering may be a challenge, but it turns lovingkindness practice into a liberation practice.

The goal of lovingkindness practice is to cultivate benevolence and friendliness in this fashion until it’s a mental state that arises effortlessly. At that point, you’ll find it increasingly natural to greet all living beings with kindness and friendliness.

© 2012 Toni Bernhard, Author of the How to Be Sick: A Buddhist-Inspired Guide for the Chronically Ill and their Caregivers, winner of the 2011 Gold Nautilus Book Award in Self-Help/Psychology. Website: www.howtobesick.com